Oh boy! 2013 is finally coming to an end. I have so much to say and it is so hard to decide where to start, but I will start by saying one thing I could not be any happier that this year has finally come to an end.
I see 2013 as a dark year for me, I can’t be cynical and say nothing good happened because just the fact that God has granted me with the gift of life is more than enough of a blessing. But this year has got to be the most difficult of all the 22 years of my life. If I look at it from a positive perspective, I would say all this challenges have made me grown into a stronger and more determined woman.And I am starting this new year with many goals and the courage to conquer anything I set my mind into.
Like I said before, this has been a year packed with challenges, some harder than others but honestly they just kept on coming with no break for me. All this challenges taught me that I can’t settle for a no, and I can’t give up no matter how many times life knocks me down. I have learned to put my trust in God, and since I made that decision I can say things have been easier to deal with. I stopped writing for long and now you might be wondering what have I been up to, and I will tell you I have been up to a lot of things! In a few months my life has changed dramatically and to prove that you have missed out on quite a lot I will tell you now I am currently not living in a Third-World Country. AHA! Surprise, surprise! I have accepted a new adventure for this new year and I decided to come to spend some time in USA. Some weeks ago we made the difficult decision to come to America for some undefined period of time. To be exact on Wednesday, December 11th me and my youngest siblings got into a plane that was headed to Washington DC.
You might be thinking “Who wouldn’t want to be in USA?!” and I will answer you “I wouldn’t want to”. Don’t get me wrong, this is a beautiful country with many opportunities, and yea it is way safer than my lovely Honduras but you need to know that there is no place like home. In my next post I will talk especifically about my move from San Pedro Sula, Honduras to New Jersey, USA and I will give you all the details, opinions and everything you need to know about this transition. Right now I just needed to mention about my move so you can have a glimpse of how crazy this year has been for me.
This year has been a challenge to every aspect in my life: family, work, health, my degree and my relationship with my boyfriend. But I am glad it all happened because no matter how cliché it might sound it all made me grow stronger, and it taught me to appreciate all the small things in life. Now I am much closer to my family, I have learned and grow with my boyfriend as a couple, I have learned to be more patient and more grateful. I need to tell you this year I had been getting a bit cold on my faith, and started leaving prayer behind me, but there was one day that it was so difficult for me to deal with, and I thought I was gonna lose it, so instead of sitting and feeling sorry for myself I decided to pray and read the Bible and I found something to hang on to, but it didn’t just restore my faith but this day turn out to be so beautiful and so good to me that it makes it so hard to even describe it. But I just want to say that for the first time in almost 2 years I felt peace, after so much prayer and reading Bible verses I was just gifted with supernatural peace, and ever since that day I have been constant in prayer, so if you believe in God or you are from any religion I would encourage to grow in prayer, because it was the best decision I made this year.
Now, I wont start with the New Year, New me bullshit and no, my resolution wont be to spend 12 hours a day in a gym or to fit into my old clothes, We should not wait for January 1st to set new goals, to improve who we are as humans, to change and move on. Make it your goal to examine yourself every single day of the year and change everything you don’t like. Don’t wait for Monday to start that Diet, why even start a Diet? Why not making it a lifestyle? Yea I have some resolutions but not only because there is a new year, but because I want to change many things in my life. And this time my goals are much less shallow and they are more likely to happen.
It is my goal to be a selfless person. It is my goal to start giving to others instead of sitting down and expecting to receive. It is my goal to be truly happy despite the material things I might or might not have, I want to be truly happy so I can make others happy. It is my goal to learn to be much more patient. It is my goal to not give up on the things my heart truly wants- if it is someone I love, some specific thing that I want I wont give up on me. I want to learn to appreciate even the smallest thing I have, because it is the smallest thing you have that you miss the most once it is gone. I want to learn to let go of things that do not add anything to my life, all those things and people that are just taking space. I want to be more independent and learn that my happiness depends on me and not on people. I want to actually live life and not just let life pass me by without enjoying it. I want to go in adventures, run risks and conquer fears. I want to be less judgemental and more forgiving, because only those who can truly forgive are the ones who can live at peace with themselves. I want to be the best version of me, and be someone who I am proud to be, I want to love me. Because it does not matter how much others love you if you do not love yourself you are uncapable of receiving love.I want to be anxiety free, I want to spend much more time with my loved ones because work is not all. I want to love passionately, to marry my best half and make him the happiest man. I want to be able to travel much and learn a bit from every place I visit. And of course I want to be healthy so I know I need to keep up with the healthy habits, but I do not want to stop enjoying life just because I can gain some pounds! If you are craving Pizza eat that damn Pizza, eat cake, enjoy it and do not have regrets. You shouldn’t set a diet as your goal, your goal should be a healthy and balanced lifestyle. And this is my most important goal: to learn to be balanced in everything I do, because having too much of anything can have negative results. Just aim to find the balance in everything and you will find the key to success.Commit to explore yourself, to find out who you really are and if you do not like it then keep making changes, just stop being unreasonable and know there is no such thing as perfection.We tend to see perfection in others and be harsh on ourselves. So what if the girl next door has blonde,straight, long hair or the body that you dream of? Who tells you she is perfect, she is probably wishing to have something you do have! That is life, we all want something we don’t have, and it is ok you just need to accept we can’t have it all. You should just prioritize and think if those things you are missing is what you truly want, and if they are then fight for it! Never give up, but while you are fighting for your dreams learn to live at peace with what you already have!
Of course I want many material things, I have many shallow desires but they are not my priority. I would love to look like Gisele Bundchen, I would! But is it something reasonable? No! I do not need to look like her to be beautiful or to be happy! Because someone will always find the true beauty in us. Maybe if I looked like Gisele I would not have the boyfriend I have now, because maybe she is not his type (although that seems like a crazy assumption), so I look the way I look for a reason, instead of torturing myself because I am not her, I can make different choices and become the best version of me, and love me!This new year focus on yourself, on your inside before trying to change your outside, before trying to change those around you. Because people will change not because you tell them to, not by what you say but you can always influence them with your actions. Remember your actions are more attractive than your words.
We all have different needs and wants, but one thing I would recommend is instead of making a long list of unreasonable things choose things that you know you can do! Start with the smallest one, little by little you will get where you need to be! Remember it is not the New Year that makes you a new you, it is you who make yourself who you choose to be!
I look forward to a new beginning, to a strong me who will conquer big things!
Happy New Year, I pray and wish for a healthy, happy and succesful 2014 for all!
Comic version of me and boyfriend saying Happy 2014!