So I was thinking I should write a post talking about the many positive things about my country Honduras. But I actually decided that today I feel like writing about “love”. Now, I am not going to try to teach you what love is or give you a definition of love, but I would actually love to tell you a bit about my love life, and share some intimate secrets with you.
When I was in Highschool I did not date any guy, kissed any guy or had any kind of intimate contact with guys. I would enjoy having guy friends much more than my friendship with the girls. I just thought guys were more authentic (this does not mean girls in my class were not my friends- quite the opposite I had a very good relationship with the girls but I just felt much more comfortable with guys), but things changed a lot when I graduated Highschool.
When I graduated Highschool I was 16 years old, that’s because most schools in Honduras graduate their students in the 11th Grade. So, a month or so after graduating I started going to University where all the fun began. As soon as that happened I started dating guys, and one of my classmates in University was the first guy I dated. He was hilarious, free spirited and just didn’t take anything seriously (including me), but I was not looking for anything serious either so I didn’t mind. He gave me my first kiss, and I would love to narrate a beautiful and romantic first kiss but I won’t lie, it was more like funny and silly but since he was a good kisser it was acceptable for a first kiss; I was quite nervous and he still makes fun of me for it! Then I decided I wanted something more serious, so we stopped dating. In the same time frame I was dating him I met this other guy who happened to study at the same University, he always tried to get my attention and well.. After many flowers and details that showed me he was a gentleman I accepted him as my boyfriend- my first boyfriend. The thing is that even though he was a gentleman he wasn’t quite what I was looking for, I didn’t feel that love you see on movies and most girls dream about BUT I was starting to get curious about this little thing called “sex”. So just to get it out of my head I lost my virginity to him- BAD IDEA. After that one night I started feeling uncomfortable in the relationship, I felt empty and bad about myself, I realized I made a mistake. I gave that one unique and special moment to someone I didn’t love, I went through something so important with someone my heart didn’t beat for. So needless to say, weeks after that night we broke up. After that happened I dated random guys, whom I never kissed or had sex with because I decided I wanted someone who I felt crazy for. Two years after the break up I dated someone else, to make story short things didn’t work out but for my surprise, three months later one of his friends wrote me a message saying he thought I was pretty. I ignored the message at first, and I was sort of dating someone anyways, but one of the nights I got drunk he wrote again and I answered him. And let me tell you that I couldn’t be happier about my decision. It’s been more than two years since that happened, and not one day did I regret that decission. I have never, ever in my life felt as loved as I feel with him. He showed so much interest since the first day, he genuinely cared so much without even knowing me that it’s amazing. It has been more than two years of waking up to his beautiful and lovely morning messages, two years of having the best friend someone could have, two years of living the love any girl could dream about. I am good with words, but no words can express how much I love my boyfriend, and how thankful I am to God that he is mine. Words are not enough, nor there are perfect words that make justice to what he means for me. He is everything I ever asked for- and I am not exaggerating. He is quite a hottie, very handsome, tall and strong. He has the most beautiful eyes, that type of eyes you could stare at with no need to say a word. He has a very well shaped body, and a nice butt hahaha, I know that’s not appropriate to say but it’s blunt honesty. He is Lithuanian, and I always had a thing for Europeans so that’s a bonus. He is so tough and strong and very masculine, but at the same time he is the sweetest, most loving and warm person I have ever met. He makes me feel so loved, and complete and makes me feel that everything I have gone through is worth it. He makes me feel like I am not alone and I won’t be alone never again. You know that kind of love you see in the movies or read about in books? That mad, passionate, extraordinary love you see in fiction novels? Well the love we have is even better. Yes we fight, and he is not perfect but neither am I, we are just perfectly imperfect. We actually fight quite a lot, but that doesn’t affect or changes what we have. We have gone through so many things, good and bad and we grow stronger together everyday. So many things happened to me personally since we have been in this relationship, like a very annoying anxiety disorder, and due to the medication for that disorder I had constant and severe mood swings for a couple of months, that made me a horrible girlfriend. Any guy would have easily given up and wouldn’t have dealt with that, because believe me it’s not fun or easy to deal with but he never left my side, instead he has been more understanding than my own family. He has supported me in every little thing, in every possible way. And guess what? Sex is amazing, sex is such a beautiful thing with him. He makes me feel like a woman, and fulfilled. I no longer feel empty after sex, now it’s the opposite. Waking up to his face, to his lips, to his touch.. It’s just a dream, a dream that came true.
Do you want to know how I realized he is the one? I just knew it. I felt it, deep in my heart. I felt the butterflies, I saw it right deep in his eyes that this was meant to be forever. And now I literally can’t imagine life without him, I can’t picture a wedding where he is not the broom, I can’t picture my kids if he is not the father, and I can’t picture my life journey if he is not my partner in crime. I feel so proud of what we have, and how much we have grown together. He is my penguin, we found each other and we will stay together forever ❤ that’s what we are working for! I could write one post where I only talk about him, and it would still be just a glimpse of our happiness and love.
Please don’t settle for ordinary love, for some people it takes longer to find their other half. But that person will come, I promise. But don’t settle, this doesn’t mean to go around and have random sex (if that’s what makes you happy then do it), but I’m telling you if you are with someone that makes you feel lonely, that doesn’t make you look up to the future, then don’t settle. Love doesn’t have to be ordinary, it has to be one of those things in life that needs to be extraordinary, unique and fill you.
Myliu tave mano pingvine!
Hasta la vista,