Where do I belong?
I remember asking myself this question constantly since I was a teenager, I am not sure I have the answer to it yet, but I want to believe I am closer to finding it now.
As a teenager I always felt that I didn’t fit in, I was not confident and I was lost. I always had so many doubts and so many questions like: what’s my talent? Am I even good at something? What am I supposed to do in life? What do I bring to this world? Am I ever going to “fit in”? What’s my purpose? Will I ever be successful? Where do I belong??
I never thought I was going to find an answer to all the doubts I had, I felt like a failure and I started being afraid of the future. When I graduated Highschool I had no clue what I was supposed to do next, but guided by what society tells me I enrolled to the most expensive College in the city and decided I wanted to get a Marketing degree (me? Marketing? WHAT?). I have not enough creativity to be in such an area, it was a huge mistake. I obviously failed bad at it, but what can you expect? #1 I had to decide what I wanted to be in life when I was only 16 years old! And the problem is that if you graduate Highschool when you are only sixteen years old you think you are pretty badass, you probably think you are some sort of genius; but then you get to College and think “How the hell did they let me graduate and get to College this fast?!”.
#2We are living in a time where High School education might be a waste of time, because honestly: what do you learn? They don’t even push you to THINK, you don’t learn to deal with real life problems, and they don’t help you to discover yourself. Don’t get me wrong because I’m not saying you don’t learn useful stuff, because you do learn a few things that are important and will help you. But if I spent so many years studying I would hope that once I graduate I am at least a bit ready to face this world, and sadly that’s not the case- you are not ready.
In my country, society expects you to decide what degree you want as soon as you graduate High School, they want you to choose your path, and decide who and what you want to be for the rest of your life. It’s really stupid to force or pressure someone to make such an important decision at such a young age especially when you don’t even know yourself yet. It’s not just any decision- you are defining yourself at such a young age. Some people definitely have it easier than others because they were born with a clear talent- for example: drawing, singing, playing soccer, etc. They know that they will use that talent and they have already chosen their path. But then there’s a lot of us that don’t have such an specific gift and we don’t know what we want, we don’t even know our talent so we definitely can’t make a proper decision.
You want to know how I ended up finding my path? I started working; as soon as I graduated I started working as a teacher assistant. Did I know I was good at it? I had no clue, but I had to give it a try. While studying Marketing I was working with a group of 8 year old and that’s when I found out I was good at it; I was good at teaching, grading, interacting with kids and everything that involves educating kids. I started to get interested on how kid’s minds work, why did they behaved certain way- so it hit me- I wanted to become a psychologist I didn’t even finish my third semester in Marketing and I switched to a different University and enrolled in the Psychology degree. I had to experience the world first before being able to discover what I really wanted. And that’s the way it should work, you should not be forced or you shouldn’t have any pressure of any type to make you choose prematurely about any aspect of your life. If you are 16 (or older) and you already know what you want and you are ready to choose, then it’s great! But if you are not sure then you should be able to discover the world in order to be able to find yourself in it. You need to work, try different things and look for diverse experiences and I swear you will end up finding who you really are, and what you really want to do.
As for the questions I had, I was able to answer many of my questions thanks to the fact that I discovered myself while working.
What’s my talent?
Even though, all through middle school and High School I felt like such a loser due to the fact that I was not good at sports and I felt like a failure because I couldn’t sing or draw- I now know I have a talent and maybe more than one: I’ve been able to act, to model and to write passionately. I’m a talented psychologist just as well.
Am I even good at something?
Yes, I’m good at many things. Things that didn’t count as important in High School but are sure important in everyday life. I am good at listening, I am good at helping others, good at giving more than receiving. I am a good person, with strong moral values- and that’s something people lack now.
What am I supposed to do in life?
I think I’m called to inspire, to help and motivate others. I’m supposed to keep discovering myself because that’s and endless pursuit. I’m supposed to be who I already chose and be the best I can be. I’m supposed to live the life I want for me and have my own family because there’s nothing as important as family. That’s my purpose and that’s what I bring to this world. I bring my talents and disposition to make a change- a positive one.
Am I ever going to fit in?
I’m not sure if I will ever fit in completely, but I know I will never pretend to be someone I’m not to be accepted. When I was way younger and I wanted to please people, I was never taken seriously and I most definitely didn’t have much friends (real friends) but now that I am who I really am and that I have no fear of rejection is when I’ve gained people’s respect and consideration, when I’ve finally come to be more accepted and found real friends who love the real me. And it’s amazing, it’s amazing to be everyone’s first choice, to be wanted for your true self; of course I have enough people who don’t like me but oh, well.. You can’t please everyone- It’s not worth it!
Will I ever be successful?
Of course I will! Why not? I don’t measure success by the amount of money I make now or that I will make in the future, I measure success by how satisfied I feel with what I do, with how much I can help and inspire others, and by the fact that I have no regrets.
Where do I belong?
I might not be 100% sure about it.. But I think that I belong wherever I want to be. I belong where I’m happy and satisfied. It doesn’t matter the place, it doesn’t matter where- it just matters how right it feels for me.
Those are my thoughts for today! Remember life is like a puzzle, you need to keep trying until you find the pieces that fit.
Hasta la vista,
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